In this issue:
•
From the Desk of Dr. M...
• Something to Think About
• Feature Article
• Pass it On...
• Health Tips
• Cost Cutters
• Dr. M Recommends
• What's Happening |
FROM THE DESK OF DR. M...
Mother’s Day is May 14th so we
are dedicating this issue to all the commuting mothers and to those mothers
who keep the home fires burning while their husbands are commuting to work.
Those women of commuting spouses find they, too, are on the road. The
average in the United States is now 66 minutes and covering about 29 miles a
day as they take their spouses to the bus or train and their children to
school or sports. Most recent statistics show an eleven per cent increase
between 1990 and 1995, according to the U. S. Census Bureau.
Commuting mothers have a special concern which makes their commutes even
more challenging than everyone else’s. That special concern is their
children. Being some distance away means that emergencies, small ones and
large, become logistically more difficult to handle. Having help, day care
and schools as the first level of care does not take the burden of
responsibility off the mother. Any wonder that researchers have found that
commuting mothers show more stress and depression and a greater unhappiness
with their home lives.
In our Health section, we discuss shifts in perception that can decrease the
negative feelings. Based on psychological studies, these techniques can help
make you feel more in control and generally more able to face the day with a
good mood. I hope you give these techniques a chance to provide relief from
stress. Something to Think About is a great follow up to the article.
In Cost Cutters, we lament with you the cost of commuting and remind you of
ways to stretch a dollar. No matter what your earnings, you’ll be sure to
find ways to save.
In the featured article, we walk through a quick history of how mother began
commuting. It’s fun to think of how this all started and where we are now.
Maybe it’s even a wake up call to make conscious decisions about where we
want to go before we find ourselves there.
This brings me to the dedication of this issue. We won’t “see” you until
after Mother’s Day so we wish you all a wonderful day-you deserve it! This
issue is dedicated to all mothers but especially to Michelle Dallacroce of
www.MothersAgainstIllegalAliens.org who is willing to take a stand
against all those who wish to harm the American way of life and steal our
resources. Please visit her site and support the cause of America.
Be well!
Dr. M.
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Commuter-Assist.com and its services are for commuters and all who love
them, work with them, and employ them.
PASS IT ON...
We started our Pass It On campaign and asked
you to help us get Commuter-Assist.com known to those we serve.
Please help us to continue to get the word out and pass along this
newsletter to anyone you know who would find this information valuable.
Commuter-Assist aims to
make a difference in the lives of commuters and all
who love them, work with them, and employ them.
We thank you. We are very
aware that nothing can happen without you . All are work is for naught
without you.
We've got a gift for you...
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FEATURE ARTICLE
WHEN MOTHER JOINED THE COMMUTE
HOW IT ALL BEGAN
Commuting to work is a modern phenomenon
that began in earnest just after the Second World War and the development of
Levittown, that community of houses that looked all the same and supplied
housing for newly begun families of returning soldiers and their wives. To
find tracts of land to build these developments, Levitt moved out of the
city proper and into the countryside, close enough for the automobile to
bring workers into the city to work, but far enough away to build on cheap
land.
Families, looking for a better life, moved
to these houses with all their “modern” conveniences and space for the
children to play. It was the late ‘40’s and the ‘50’s, so mother stayed home
with the children and father went out to work, driving the family car to the
city. This became the aspiration of all young couples.
As the needs and wants of these young
families increased, mothers began to work, first , in traditionally female
jobs such as nursing, secretarial and teaching, close to home and available
if their children, who were now in school, needed them.
Another exodus occurred as housing again
became expensive. This time, widespread ownership of the automobile allowed
the father to commute to the city to work. Mother stayed at home, isolated
from adult companionship for very long periods of time.
Finally, mother joined the commute to
higher paying employment and the long distance commute was complete.
Today, the commute goes on. Cars, trains,
buses, planes, ferries-all bring the commuter to and from work. The commute
has been a great boon to people, not only has it allowed them to choose
where to live, but it has allowed them to work in more lucrative jobs while
buying houses that have more value for the dollar. There has been, however,
a price to pay. Commuters lose this block of time each day, they become more
stressed as the time increases, they fall to physical illness because of the
commute, they become separated from the daily flow of the family and
friends, they start work already stressed and find it affects their output.
The mother commuter has added the
additional burden of the commute to her other work. She continues, in most
households, to be the homemaker who runs the house and cares for the health
and welfare of the family.
WHERE IT’S GOING
No doubt the long distance commute will
stay with us. But an interesting thing has happened along the way - the home
worker. Some people are starting home businesses to avoid the commute, to
save expenses and become more involved in the household. Others have worked
out arrangements with their companies so that, thanks to the computer, at
least part of their work time is done from home. The trend is for this to
increase. There is even a bigger push among women to find a way to work from
home.
But before you make a decision, do be
aware of the pros and cons of working from home. Some find it difficult to
separate work and nonwork and feel like they are always working, or at least
on call all the time. Others find it difficult to remove themselves from the
activity of the household to get their work done. Still others complain of
the isolation of working at home and of missing the interaction of the
workplace. None of this is insurmountable, but they do need to be addressed.
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COST CUTTERS
What’s a Mother to Do?
No time to cut coupons? No worry, there are still ways to save money in
these high cost times. One commuting mother says she is paying $350 a month
for bus transportation. At this point, that is still a saving for her
compared to using her own car.
First, let’s review what people are doing to save a bit of money. I find
that it’s the small amounts that add up to big spending. You may, too, if
you keep track of those expenditures for a month or so.
The easiest way to do that is to start the day with a known amount of money,
keep all receipts and a pen and paper to note the very small amounts that
may not generate a receipt. Be sure to add in any credit card receipts for
the day. You may want to leave the cards at home since it is so easy to
spend money you don’t see.
At the end of the day, you can subtract what is left from the amount you
started with. Be sure to add in the credit card receipts. It is very wise to
list what areas you spent the money in, food, “toys”, a lipstick or a
magazine. This will help when you want to curtail certain expenses.
Many commuters brown bag it several times a week. Great savings in money and
calories, if it’s done well. Others limit the fancy coffees and after work
outings. More savings in money and calories. You don’t want to feel like you
are being punished or living a poverty stricken life, so be sure your view
of these changes is in keeping with your perception of yourself as a
successful woman who makes decisions that forward her goals.
Ride sharing is a great way to save money and enjoy the commute. There are
services that can help you catch a ride or you can ask neighbors who go in
the same direction.
There are other ways to save money that have nothing to do with the commute
but will add significantly to the bottom line. Here’s a list: fewer kid’s
meals for the kids, buying household items in bulk and from discount store,
using fewer processed foods and sodas (healthier, too), using housekeeping
and lawn services one time less in the month (on second thought, try some of
the other tips first, unless you are really on a mission).
Even those of us who use public transportation have cars that are used
regularly. Keeping the car in good condition will save you money. Be sure
the tires are the correct poundage and the fluids are topped. Try using the
air conditioning less frequently and also try the new additives that claim
to help with increased mileage.
Remember reading about wives you saved a portion of their “house allowance”
in the cookie jar or the sock drawer, away from prying eyes? Everyone in the
family wondered how she was able to buy that new sofa or party dress. We’ve
come a long way from the allowance, but the concept of saving is alive and
well.
We should all take a lesson from our foremothers and make saving a part of
our plan. What’s the sense of cutting back on expenses if we just spend it
unthinkingly on something else?
So the last part of this cost cutting procedure is to have a plan for where
the saved money will go. Your choice - is it for a new sofa, a new party
dress, retirement, vacation, a rainy day?
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HEALTH TIPS
If Mama ain’t happy
Did your mother ever use the saying “A woman’s work is never done?” Surely,
she was describing mothers. Chief of Household Functioning, in charge of
children and adult services.
And more to the point, how about this saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t no
one happy.”
Mothers have been known to give up almost everything they have, time,
energy, money, ambition, to give to their children. I am going to propose
something that is somewhat iconoclastic. But first, I am going to give a
rationale that will allow you to “hear” what I am saying.
Let’s start with the second saying. This will give the rationale to what I
propose. A mother’s happiness and contentedness sets the stage for the
family’s mood. When you see a happy family, you are seeing the product of a
happy mother. The reverse is also true, of course.
So if you need a reason outside yourself to reach for happiness and
contentedness, it is your family. If you can’t do it for yourself alone, do
it for yourself and your family.
So exactly what is “It?” “It” is a way of thinking and behaving that allows
you to feel happy and content while striving to reach your goals.
No matter what you have achieved in life, if you don’t develop the mood of
happiness and contentedness, you will be unhappy and discontented and so
will your family.
I have worked with people who have achieved great wealth and success in
life, but have been unable to translate any of it into happiness and
contentedness. There are many reasons for this. It may be because of
grappling with a problem that refuses to be resolved. It may be because of
poor decisions made in the past. It may be because of inability to move on
goals that seem so necessary to life.
Whatever the reason, something can be done to move toward happiness.
Surprisingly, the first and most basic thing to do is to make a decision to
be happy and content. To make that decision now, in the circumstances you
find yourself in. Not when “things get better.” Not when your income has
gone up by X dollars. Not when your children are obedient or your spouse or
partner appreciates you. But now.
I worked with a woman who did make that decision. She said she woke one
night and realized that it was her call. She could choose to be happy, and
so she did.
Moving toward personal goals is another important step. A secret to
achieving a goal is to plan for it. But backwards. What would the final
stage, when you’re at the goal, look like? What about the step immediately
before that one?
Then the next, and the next, until you are where you are today.
Two steps to happiness and contentedness. Could it be so easy? Well, yes and
no. The steps are easy, yes. The decision may be more complicated. But if
you allow yourself the chance, you can become happy and content.
So – just do it! |
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DR. M RECOMMENDS
Briefcase Moms
Lisa Martin |
WHAT'S HAPPENING
TELECONFERENCE
Commuters in the Know LIVE!
On Thursday, May 4th, 9 PM Eastern (6 PM Pacific), we had Andrea Scott Brown, MBA, as guest. Andrea works with women who are mothers
and helps them to carve out some time in the day just for themselves.
We think that commuting mothers and women who care for their children while
their spouses are away at work, sometimes days at a time, will find what
Andrea has to say very valuable. Andrea is a mother herself and has road
tested all her methods. I also use her relaxation when work and motherhood
seem difficult to meld.
The teleconference is a service of Commuter-Assist.com, free to commuters
and all who love them, work with them, and employ them. Sign up for future
teleconferences here (http://www.Commuter-Assist.com/teleconference.htm)
and the telephone number will be emailed to you.
Join us for our next teleconference June 1st!
CONQUER THE COMMUTE: TOOLS FOR THE ROAD AND LIFE
Hopefully, next month the e-book Conquer the Commute: Tools for the Road and
Life will be completed and available. It is in its final polishing and you
can order it at a 30% discount by clicking on this link
Click here and reserve your copy of this new e-book
today.
SURVEYCommuter-Assist.com
began in January 2006. In that time,
it has been ranked by
Google 4 out of 10, and by Alexa in the 200,00s. It has begun a bi-monthly
newsletter and a monthly teleconference series. It has over 10,000
citations to its articles on the Web.
Commuter-Assist aims to
make a difference in the lives of commuters and all
who love them, work with them, and employ them.
You can
help us do this by taking the survey that asks your opinion and needs. This
link will take you to the page, http://www.commuter-assist.com/survey.htm.
We want to know how you want the site and the services to work for you.
You can
also help by passing on a copy of the newsletter or a link to the site.
Finally, come support us in our new venture, Commuters in the Know LIVE!,
the first Thursday of each month. You’ll learn a lot and have a little fun,
too.
Please
support the sites we link to. They are all part of the services to
commuters. Maybe some day we can all get together and make a difference in
the public transportation and the roads we use. |
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Dr. Mastria is founder of
Commuter-Assist.com, which publishes e-books, CDs and cassettes to help
commuters get the most out of their commute and life in general. Dr.
Mastria speaks, offers workshops, and consults to businesses. She also
provides life, wellness, and
executive
and business coaching to groups and individuals.
To contact Dr. Mastria email
info@Commuter-Assist.com or call 570-839-6394.
All content Copyright © 2006, Dr. Marie
A. Mastria, CLC, PCC /
Commuter-Assist.com. All rights reserved.
You may copy or send it to family or friends who may benefit from it so long
as the format and credits are intact. You have permission to publish this
article electronically, free of charge, as long as the by-lines are included
and links are activated and maintained. A courtesy copy of your publication
or link to website would be appreciated. |
