March 2006 | Volume 1 | Issue 5

In this issue:

• From the Desk of Dr. M...
• Something to Think About
• Feature Article
• Pass it On...
• Health Tips
• Cost Cutters
• Dr. M Recommends
• What's Happening

FROM THE DESK OF DR. M...

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

THOMAS MOORE:

Family life is full of major and minor crises -- the ups and downs of health, success and failure in career, marriage, and divorce -- and all kinds of characters. It is tied to places and events and histories. With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality. It's difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul.


VIRGINIA SATIR:

Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible -- the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.


THOMAS JEFFERSON:

The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.

Wow! Our web site was ranked four out of ten by Google in just its second month of operation. Unheard of! It’s supposed to take three to four months to get it listed somewhere on Google. Its Alexa rating went from 4 million at inception to 273,120 as of Wednesday, 8 March (The lower the Alexa number, the more popular the site).

Help us do better. Our goal is to get a Google Page Ranking of 7/10 or better and an Alexa Traffic Ranking of 100,000 or better by June 24, just three and a half months away. You can help by telling friends and colleagues about us and by visiting the site often. We are always updating and we welcome your suggestions. Take the survey (click here) or at the home page (www.commuter-assist.com). Tell us what you want and need. Pass the word- Commuter-Assist.com is where to go if you need relief from the stress of the long commute and help in meeting your life and work goals.

So, with this issue of Commuter Chronicles, we are inaugurating the PASS IT ON CAMPAIGN and we want you to be part of it. Our goal is 2,00 new sign-ups to the articles and newsletter in the next 30 days.

We want people to know what is on the web site to de-stress their commute and make for an excellent life. We want them to take the survey so they can get more of what they want at the web site. We want more testimonials so you can see how we are doing. We want them to sign up for the new e-book and other services.

FEATURE ARTICLE

COMMUTING IS A FAMILY BUSINESS

Have you considered that commuting is a family business? What I mean is that the family as a whole, each member and how the family functions, is defined by the commute that its top members, probably mother or father or both, take each day or part of the week.

Much of the focus has been on the commuter. The stress and its effect on body and mind has been well documented. We know that the commuter is less involved in the community in which he or she lives because there is so little discretionary time available to him or her. In a well-known study by Dr. Robert Putnam of Harvard, it was estimated that involvement in community activities, such as PTA, volunteering and local politics, decreases ten per cent for every ten minutes of commuting time. We also know that commuters are less involved in their children’s school activities and sports for just the same reason.

Less has been said, however, about the family left behind each day as the commuter leaves home. As time goes on, many of these families begin to behave like single parent families because one spouse is absent so long from the family that decisions are made and activities are done without the commuting family member.

At first, this may seem like a good solution. But, over time, the family is redefined and the commuter member begins to see him- or herself as an outsider.

In my initial work with commuters, I ask them to complete the Circle of Life (see below for how to obtain yours), a rating scale for each area of their lives. Invariably, no matter what type of work or economic level, the long distance commuter will show dissatisfaction with family life the longer he or she has been commuting. And each member of the family will also show scores that echo this dissatisfaction.

Often the family does not identify the long commute as the problem, but simply is aware of a drifting away from the commuter member. There seems less in common. The daily reporting and bringing up-to-date that families do isn’t being done as often. Some partners report less affection, more arguments, less sexual activity. Resentments grow as the family drifts apart.

Even the government is aware of these problems and has begun to take action. Telecommuting is being tested and more flexible start and end times are in place in many agencies.

But private industry and independent professionals and business owners lag behind in putting options in place. Often, it is the commuter him- or herself who must make the changes that will reverse the family problems.

Identifying the problem and open communication about it are always the first steps that need to be done. The sooner steps are taken to repair the break, the easier it will be to do.

Scheduling family time just as you schedule other times is also necessary if you plan to maintain a family life. As children become older, the schedule may need to be around their activities, but that’s perfectly alright. A game and then dinner together on a Saturday night might be the thing that holds the family together and that your children will remember once they’ve grown.

Quiet time over coffee, late at night, after the children are asleep, has kept many couples together. It’s a time to defuse, catch up with the family news of the day and enjoy the intimacy of alone time.

The message is that commuting affects all who are around you but you can limit the negative effects. Family is too important to allow a long commute to harm it.

Tell us what you do to protect your family from the negative effects of the long distance commute.

Many of us moved to the suburbs or farther out to see more green – trees and money. We may be seeing more trees, although with all the building of houses and business parks, that is in jeopardy. Definitely in jeopardy is the green of our money. With the price of gasoline and tolls climbing and the price of public transportation not so far behind, the “green stuff” is flying out of our pockets.

Here is an easy calculator that will tell you how much it costs to drive to work – Calculator. It will also tell you the hidden costs associated with driving as well as the environmental costs.

Have you thought about sharing the costs? These calculations might start you seriously thinking about it.

Source: rideshare.511.org

CDs:

High School Musical

Available at Amazon.com
 

BOOKS:

Family First
Dr. Phil McGraw

Available at Amazon.com