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Facing Your Fear
Fear is part of being on your growing
edge.
I'm not certain where this statement comes from. I'd like to take credit
for it, but I think someone much wiser than I am said this.
Most people consider fear an emotion to be avoided at all costs. Here,
it is considered an indication of change and growth. Could that really
be? Let's break this statement down and see if it is true.
FEAR
Every human, and at least higher forms of all organisms, have felt fear.
It is an innate feeling and one that has allowed individuals to survive
by moving them away from danger.
Fear may not feel good, but it can be positive in that it can keep us
away from harm. There are physiological and psychological parts to fear
and I'm sure we have all had them. Sometimes they don't feel attached to
anything happening in our lives and at other times they are very
specific to the situation.
When fear strikes, blood flows to the extremities, the legs and arms,
preparing us to flee the dangerous situation. There is a momentary
freeze, that cold feeling that flows through the body, while the brain
processes the information in front of it, determining what action,
flight or fight, is more appropriate. Hormones contribute to the
reaction.
Thoughts play a huge part in the development of fear and our reactions
to it. We play the worst case scenario in our heads and then our hearts
begin to pump fast, our faces flush, perspiration begins, mouth dries,
eyes widen, looking for the threat that may not be visible.
Being on your Growing Edge
What if you've been at the same job, same route to work, same schedule
for the past five or ten years and you're becoming bored? You think
there's more to life but you are not sure how to find it.
Suppose you're going along your life's road and this year you are given
a promotion to a job which calls for skills you haven't master, you also
get marry, move to a new city, and get elected president of a service
organization you've been a member of for some years.
Now suppose you become aware that you need to hone skills that are
unfamiliar to you . You seek out a way to learn those skills. You could
read books, observe people you know who have those skills, seek out a
mentor or a life or executive coach, use trial and error. But in some
way you target what you don't know and develop a way to learn it all.
Hard work ahead, but easier on the fear factor.
These are three examples of being on the growing edge. In the first
example, growth hasn't happened for some time. You've been comfortably
living in the familiar, but after a time, this comfort level leads to
dissatisfaction and a need to experience change.
This is good. It makes you want to grow. It might lead to developing new
work skills or even a new career. Or seeking avocations that make "free"
time more exciting. No matter what, your choice is to stay bored, and
safe, or take a chance, sometimes many chances, experience some fear,
and grow.
In example two, you can almost feel the frenzy of the life overextended,
overwhelmed with change. It's being on the growing edge in every area of
one's life. Not too many people will find this enjoyable or even
livable. Something would have to give. Fear of change could easily take
hold and become the most prominent emotion. Blood pressure rising? I
would think so, and temper, too.
Stepping too far out on the growing edge can pose great risk of failure
and can be just as bad in one's life as avoiding fear by staying within
one's comfort zone.
Example three, how to keep some comfort while moving out, taking risks,
experiencing some invigorating fear. Fear of the unknown is keep low and
fear of failure is minimized. Recognition that some fear will exist
helps keep emotions in check.
Fear is part of the growing edge
So, yes, fear is part of the growing edge. Just knowing that it is and
that those who choose to grow experience fear helps keep it low enough
to cope with it.
But there are other ways to step into the growing edge, facing the fear
but not focusing on it.
1) Often we have assumptions about what it will be like to move into the
growing zone that are not based on fact and, indeed, are untrue and
frightening. Discover what part is causing you to avoid moving and find
out if it is real or just part of your imagination.
2) Re-label emotions. Fear and excitement are so similar that we often
confuse the two and moving into the growing edge will have both emotions
firing like crazy. Re-label some of the fear excitement and see if that
rings true for you. Think how it is to be on a roller coaster. Fear and
excitement, right? And you still got on.
3) Focus. You can choose to focus on the fear in starting a new,
unfamiliar process, or you can focus on the process itself. The second
will get you much closer to your goals.
4) Limit stepping into the growing edge to just one or two areas at a
time. Growth takes time, energy, and perseverance. Expecting to make
many changes at the same time will increase the need for these as well
as the fear that is a part of change.
5) Don't diminish your accomplishments. I have worked with many people
who, once they have accomplished the change, talk as if they have
nothing to be proud of. They do, and so do you. It takes courage to face
fear of the unknown and of things that can make you cringe, even if they
hold you back. So be proud and aware of your accomplishments.
Where has the growing edge taken you? What fears have you had to face?
Share them with us over the next months by writing to
info@commuter-assist.com.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Be well,
Dr. M.
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Dr. Mastria is founder of Commuter-Assist.com, which publishes e-books, CDs
and cassettes to help commuters get the most out of their commute and life
in general. Dr. Mastria speaks, offers workshops, and consults to
businesses. She also provides life, wellness, and
executive and business coaching to groups and
individuals. To contact Dr. Mastria email info@Commuter-Assist.com or call 570-839-6394.
All content Copyright © 2007, Dr. Marie A.
Mastria, CLC, PCC / Commuter-Assist.com. All rights reserved. You may
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