August 2006 | Volume 1 | Issue 15

In this issue:

• From the Desk of Dr. M...
• Something to Think About
• Feature Article
• Pass it On...
• Health Tips
• Cost Cutters
• Dr. M Recommends
• What's Happening

FROM THE DESK OF DR. M...

August is the month most of us wait for. Vacations and travel to distant places are on many agendas. Few cares, lots of hopes.

But this August is different. Carefree air travel has been a thing of the past for many years. But now, in these past weeks, the possibility of imminent danger is at the forefront.

Some are immobilized by the fear of terrorist attacks. Others are wary but continue with their plans. The government advises not to change plans, but to be cautious of what is happening around you. We wonder if that is good advise.

What we know is that the threat and the high concern about the threat will peak and, if nothing else occurs, will subside in our consciousness. We move back to things as usual until the almost certain next threat.

At Commuter-Assist, we have been looking at what we might do for those of you who regularly use the airlines because of work and also for our commuters and families who are using the airlines to fly to vacation spots.

We’ve come up with some suggestions that are familiar to you just to remind you to use them, and some tips and techniques that may be new to you but that are based on psychological research.

I hope you find this useful and, remember, if I can help, do email or call. And if you have suggestions or stories you would like to share with our readers, send them over.

In Something to Think About, the definition of “terrorism” is given so that you might think of how it affects us all and what you might want to do about coping with it.

In Health, we discuss fear and anxiety and the effect these emotions have on how you handle emergencies. There are also tips on how to keep these emotions under your control.

In Cost Cutter, we list some sites that you might try for less expensive flights and lodging. With soaring gas prices and this being vacation month, every little bite will help you to have more to spend when you get to your destination.

Be well!
Dr. M.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

What are we dealing with?

With the disclosure of a new plot to destroy airplanes coming to the United States, I thought we might look at what “terrorism” is. These definitions put a space between our emotions and what we are facing.

Maybe the statement by our government – go about your normal life - though very hard to implement, will make more sense after reading them. We cannot allow anyone to take over our lives and our thoughts. We fought two world wars because of that and, some say, this is the third .

Even though we must take precautions that we never even thought about prior to September 11, we must find ways to keep our fears in check.

"Terrorism is the premeditated, deliberate, systematic murder, mayhem, and threatening of the innocent to create fear and intimidation in order to gain a political or tactical advantage, usually to influence an audience."

James M. Poland

"a policy intended to strike with terror those against whom it is adopted; the employment of methods of intimidation; the fact of terrorising or condition of being terrorised."

Oxford English Dictionary

Terrorism might be best defined as the greatest possible degrees of criminal actions, other than war between internationally recognized nations, where the largest amounts of population are affected, and the greatest degree of economic activity is disrupted.

Wikipedia

PASS IT ON...

A couple months ago we started our Pass It On campaign and we asked you to help us get Commuter-Assist.com known to those we serve.  We are happy to report that you are hearing our request. 

We thank you.  We are very aware that nothing can happen without you .  All are work is for naught without you.

FEATURE ARTICLE

How I Will Live My Life

I worked on the 1993 World Trade bombing and the doomed Flight 800 over Long Island Sound. I saw the survivors of the ’93 blast and the relatives of Flight 800. I treated them immediately after the disasters and over many months afterward.

Their grief was overwhelming and to watch them go through the aftermath of these unthinkable horrors just shot my “clinical objectivity” to pieces. Who could do such things to other people? What was the reason for the hatred against innocents? Why did they hide among civilians while meting out punishment in the name of a god I did not know?

We came to call them “terrorists.” I’m not sure we understood the appropriateness of the label at first, but I think we all understand it now.

I searched for definitions of the word and each notes intimidation, disruption of a society, a continuing fear among the targeted group by those who hide their identities and function outside the rule of law.

After the first bombing of the Trade Center, I began treating those who had worked in the building but also those who had lived among the men involved in the bombing, those young, quiet, seemingly respectful Muslims who worked and lived and prayed among us.

One of my patients lived in the apartment below where the bombs were made. Another lived next door, in one of the row houses on Virginia Avenue. Every morning, as she left for work at the Trade Center, she greeted her neighbor going to school at a local college.

Later, in my office with the unobstructed view of the World Trade Center, she wondered had she said anything to provoke him to such hatred. Not only did she have to suffer the post-trauma, she also had to bear the guilt of responsibility for the bombing.

It was my friend and colleague, Dr. Ramon B., who allowed me to see that not all Muslims were part of this group of haters. He worshiped at the same mosque on Journal Square as the haters/bombers had. And it was his gentleness and his love of God and man that I had known all the years before that allowed me to escape the back-at-you hatred that would have been so easy for me to develop. Don’t get me wrong, I do hate the bombers but I have not grown to hate all Muslims and Middle Eastern people.

Just as difficult to understand are friends who blame us, their American brothers and sisters, for what we have suffered on 9/11 and those other days of destruction.

They tell me it is because of how we treat others around the world and how we think of ourselves to be above all the others. And I am shocked. I do believe America is the greatest country in the world. I do believe our lives are best. But I also believe that we give the most to others and are most accepting of others.

In my years of treating rape victims, I have seen the victim blamed for the crime. Her skirt was too short, she was too friendly, she shouldn’t have been out at that time of night. Even now, the reason we keep the name of the rape victim alone hidden is because of the blame that will be placed on her and how her reputation will be spoiled.

This is the same thing that is happening now when we are blamed for the horrible strikes against our people.

Now I struggle with the hatred of us by the people of the Middle East and the self hatred of us by some of our own. This is so confusing and at times it seems there will be no end to it all. At least no good end.

This is the time to remember that good conquers evil as it did in the past two world wars and that the fears the haters want to impose on us can only be placed there by ourselves, not by them.

So in this “new age of terror,’ as it has been labeled by Newsweek, each one of us must make a decision. Will we be terrorized each day as we go about our business or will we use the caution that life calls for and live in joy, knowing that life is too short and every day must count.

This is a hard one. We want to say we will live life on our own terms, but it will take courage, will power and hope that we will be equal to whatever tests we are put to.

This is the time to review your relaxation technique and hone it so well that you can use it when you become aware of anxiety or fear developing.

Are you ready?

Tighten your body...

your face... neck... shoulders... arms... chest... stomach...
buttocks... thighs... calves... feet.

Hold for one... two... three... four... five.

At the same time, inhale deeply.

Now, as you relax, give a strong, slow, steady “whoosh”... as your breath leaves your body and, with it, the strain that had been building in your body.

Enjoy the difference in your body. How much calmer your mind is. How lighter your body feels.

Again, body tightens as you inhale:

one... two... three... four... five.

With a “whoosh”... breath leaves your body as you relax into the calmness.

What a wonderful feeling. Everything back in perspective.

For more tips and techniques, pre-order your copy today:

CONQUER THE COMMUTE: TOOLS FOR THE ROAD AND LIFE

I hope you don’t think badly of me if I recommend to you my e-book while it is in pre-launch.

I think you will find it helpful and a good read. I hope you will send your comments about it to me.

There is a pre-launch discount of 30%, but I am offering all my Commuter-Assist members an additional 5% discount. So instead of paying $37.00, you can order it a 35% discount until it is launched. That is a cost of $24.05 to you, a savings of $12.95.

Email us today to request your copy at this pre-launch price!